Orient Express – September 1928
Lowndes Square
Belgravia
London
Compagnie International des Wagons-Lits
Boulogne
France
September 1928
Dear Sir
I am writing to complain about an incident that happened whilst travelling on your luxury train, The Orient Express. I returned from my trip last Thursday but have felt too exasperated to be able to write sooner.
I woke to find a weird little man with a French accent standing in the corridor next to my compartment, muttering about “his little grey cells” whilst flat footed policemen clomped up and down the carriage. Never in my life have I been so rudely awoken. I then hear mention of a dead man in the next compartment, murdered I tell you. I was furious! How dare he go and get himself murdered like that?! Did he not realise people were trying to sleep?
I have had to work hard to persuade my dear husband to pay for this ‘trip of a lifetime’, and quite frankly I am disappointed at the terrible treatment I received as a result of this man’s inconsiderate act. It did indeed put a dampener on the trip as a whole. After all, one cannot fully appreciate the spas in Budapest whilst visions of a short, tidy Frenchman tweaking his moustache over a dead body and muttering dance in one’s head.
I demand a full refund, not only of the ticket price but also the cost of replacing my favourite silk slippers and gown, reined when I had to evacuate the carriage whilst his body was removed.
I await your response.
Yours faithfully
Lady Felicity Fortisque
Letters & Diaries 